oldrockstars:

becoming older than 10 years old was the biggest mistake of my life

getsuswet:

xBloodLust

relahvant:

GODDAMIT MR NOODLE

teamdickrats:

stars-will-lead-the-way:

incision:

elizabethii:

The Queen breaking into laughter as She passes Her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, standing outside the Buckingham Palace, 2005

she’s so cute

anytime the queen goes past any of her family she just pisses herself laughing, i love it

HEHEHEHE PHILLIP I’M A STAMP AND YOU’RE NOT

dilfgod:

you’re home early

waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me: you want my man or something?
her: wh-wat?
me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him: aye calm down
me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy

deadeliving:

Me every time a develop any sort of feeling towards humans

perks-of-being-chinese:

 

Harrison Ford Won’t Answer Star Wars Questions [x]

gokuma:

autumnramble:

I want to die and be born again as a full hobbit.

I think hobbit metabolism work differently than human…

scribebynight:

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

ultrafunnypictures:

This is getting ridiculous…

what is so wrong with a regular phone case?!

R̶̭̹͙̮̻̖͍̣͙͙̯͙̫͚͉̃̑̃̿̎̌̍̌̉̔̆̈́́́͠͡ͅͅI̴̩̹͎͙͖͕̝̟̼͒̃̍̇͒͌̈́̊͘N̵̸̶͉͚̣̝͎̼̯̮̹̤̥̬͚ͧ́̀͗ͫ̒͑̎̀̋̌̇̓̌͛͜͝ͅG̨̖̝̰͎͇̙̱̫͙̬̥̦͍̀ͣͯ̚ͅ ̡̹̣͇̻͔̦̻̹̦̤̙̭̼̟̘̣̭̮̿̐ͧͧ̓͂̇̉̿̓̆͆̏̀͟R̿́ͧ̀̿ͪ̆͊͌̇ͪͭͨ͛̿ͨ̾̉̀͏̴̹͓̰̗̭̙͇̬̹̱͎̣̳͎̻̀͡Í̷̵̂̉́̏͝͡҉̹̲͓̠̱͉̰̻͍̳͔͈̙̪̻̱̺N͐ͬͫ̊͐ͫ͜͞҉̨̫͙̹̱̗̥̖̥̖̺̠͇̱̤̤̯̞̹̖G̴͖͚̳̣͈ͩ̅͐̏ͬ́ͩ̅ͫ̆͌̑̎͑͗̏͠͝ ̵̦̤͓̫̲͇̺̩͇ͤ̓͑̽͘͢͠R̸̡͇̻̩̮̱̖̱͉͇̜̲̉̏̄̈̇̽͊͛̈̂̈́̋̃̇͑̀͜͠I̳̠͍͕͈̟̖̘̹ͥ͛̈͑ͬͪͤͮ̾͒̀͞N̷͈͚̩͇͈͎͍͔̥̖̠ͬ̓ͮ̋̓̃͛ͥ͗͋ͬ̓ͭ͂͡G̢̛̭̟͙͕̬̜̙̻͕̣̗̲̒̈͊̋̑͗͛̾ͬ̈́̆̅ͫ͢͠ ̫͚̣̖̤̥̞͖͈̥͔̫̩͉͍͍͉̐̔̎̆ͯ͆͆ͩ̅̄ͮ͗͞R̷̨̧̧̹̻̭̱̮͎̜̖̩̋͆ͫ̐ͧ̃ͥ̅ͭͣ̏ͣ͛͋͂̋I̪͇͔͈͚͒͋̂͒ͪ̓̅̓̂͆͘͟͟͝Nͪ̂̏ͧ͛̓͐̓͐ͨͥ̕̕͟͏͖̙̟̲̝̳̫̪̘G̸̨̣͕̬̼̤͚̳̻͖̥̝̍̏͆ͤ̊̉ͭ̊ͮ́̕ ̶̷̷͈̰̝͎̘͔̬͓̖͇̦͈͍̬̭̲ͦ͛̆̇̓ͩ̐ͯ͢͝ͅB͉̫̘ͩ̓ͥ̉͋̄̈ͫͪ̑͐̊͠Ả̡̨̟̬̰̤͙̪̙͚̲̱͙̺͈̬̜̜ͦ̆͂ͪ̂ͥͪ̑ͅN̷̛̘̜̜̻̓͗ͦ̔̉̎̆̓̇̇̽ͫ̊̋͝A̭͎̮̠̝͓͕̙̩͉̤̣͓͈͒͐̈̃͌̑̓̌ͯͣͪ͗ͬ͗ͦ̃ͮ̾ͮ͜͠Ṉ̷̨̬̜̜̭͙̩͉͎̯͇͙̱̦͇͚̐̏̐͐͐̍̍ͫ̈̾̒̒̑̇̄͂̓̎́A̫͈̘͓̠̼͇͓̖̼̖̤̯̘͑̍́̐ͦͩ̈́͂ͭ̊͌̈͑́́̚͞͞͠ ̸̹̘̦̠̝̺̼̲͉̞͉͔̩̺̫͓̺̩͑ͭ̔́ͧ̒͊ͮ̋̈̏͋ͩ̈́͟͝P̸̨͖̝̦̬̲̯̘̣̦̱̣͚͈̻͎̙͗́ͪͥ̌̅͊ͣ̐̍̓̂̊̂́̚͝ͅH̬̭̺̙͙ͮ̿̈́̀͐̄̄̍͊ͦ̊̀ͩ̃̓̚̕͜Ǫ̻̼͚͖̹͍̫͎̹̘͕͓̝̹ͧͨ͋ͬͨ̓̐͛͊͒͘͠ͅN͓̝̞̯̫̞̠̫̗̖͉̹̿ͣ̀̓̃̔̉ͦͫ̒̋ͬͣ̊͊̆͘͝Ế̴̻̲͉̬̯̪̤͙͛͑̐͘͢͢͡